March

March is mercifully coming to a close. I would call it a challenging month. In many ways I didn't rise to the challenge. I stopped keeping up my food journal and resumed eating lunch out. Thus I gained five pounds and killed my food budget. I broke away from my 2009 budget plan and bought a new computer. My ankle gout flaired up sidelining me for a week. I am not going to go into the collapse at work that our SF team is going through that I feel like I'm holding together with scotch tape. I wrote rarely in my personal journal and not at all on my blog.

Still it was only five pounds. I've automated enough tools that I should be able to pick them up and get back on track with money and food with tomorrows calendar change. I simply love my new computer set up and all of the things I bought this month. Bankruptcy has this other benifit of restricting all purchases to cash. As long as I don't spend the rent, lapses in control have little long term effects. I wrote in my journal this morning and here I am on the 3 to work updating my blog. New streaks have to start somewhere. I (well Karen) finally figured out what the hell is wrong with my ankle. It doesn't make it better but it does make me feel a little more settled to know. And right now I'm starting to get that feeling you get when you are starting to feel better after an illness of appreicating all the little things (like being able to walk). All in all I'm getting through the chaos that daylight savings time always brings into my life.

Brandon Tyler at the Guild

In the Red Fog, originally uploaded by lacadaz.

Saturday I broke my no driving streak when I borrowed Karen's car and headed up to Sacramento to shoot Brandon Tyler's show at the Guild Theater to release his new CD "Turbulence" Some of my pictures from the shoot Brandon and I did last year ended up on the CD including the cover. I was pretty pumped to shoot him in action this time.

I met up with the band at Andy Nguyen's on Broadway for the pre-gig meal. We moved to the Starbuck's around the corner from the theater before heading in for sound check. I took a lot of pictures before the show to get the feel of the whole night from the bands perspective. I've started filling up a flickr set in that order. It's hard because I'm still editing and I haven't gotten to the pictures from the show yet. This one is one of two I skipped ahead to do because I just couldn't resist.

Anyway I'm back to work now after a weekend with not enough sleep in it. I'll keep plugging away at the photos and try to get more up every day this week.

Money Well Spent

Water Camo, originally uploaded by lacadaz.

So I went to new Academy of Sciences Museum in Golden Gate Park yesterday. It was my first trip to the new museum. As the old Academy was my childhood museum I was a little concerned. And yes there were some things I missed. I always loved the San Francisco skyline built into the wall at the old Morrison Planetarium although they did keep a piece in the gift shop. And the alligator grotto feels more like a museum exhibit and less like gators had snuck into your steam room and were hanging out with you.

Still the new museum is a wonder. I have no idea if we saw everything because my nature sense of direction was annilited by the rooms and bridges and elevators and passages and such. It is the Winchester Mystery House of museums but I loved it all the same. I bought a membership of course and am looking forward to returning (on a weekday) to take more pictures.

But this entry isn't about the Academy of Sciences. It's about my Nikon D90 that arrived on Wednesday and got its first real workout yesterday. No-flash museum photography especially aquarium photography can be challenging. I was somewhere I had never been before using a camera I only had a couple of nights to work on. Lets just say there was much tweaking of settings and discovery that I had the camera set for a completely different set of light conditions. Despite my befuddlement the camera performed beautifully. I was most struck when I put this picture up on flickr after doing some work in Photoshop and checked the iso setting. I shot this one at 3200 a setting that my d40 simply could not produce useful images. I think I might just love this camera.

New Camera

Coming Out of the Barn, originally uploaded by lacadaz.

Well the camera I've been waiting to get since it was first announced arrived last night. I worked all day so I wasn't sitting on the steps waiting for UPS. That was a good thing because when I got home at 6:20 it still hadn't been delivered. It was a few minutes later but I was pretty cranky for those few minutes. Anyway after an agonizing hour and a half for the battery to charge I spent the evening learning the in and outs. Big thanks to Ken Rockwell's guide for setting it up. Of course Ken's article on jpeg over raw got me re-thinking my workflow for the umpteenth time but that's for another post.

Anyway I got up early this morning and took my no traditional Cable Car Ride down to Aquatic Park and back to break it in. As I'm a little out of practice I didn't have the best shoot but I did get a couple I liked. I'm sorry this one doesn't show off all that the camera can do but I liked this one and this treatment the best. I will say that it was much easier to get it to do what I wanted it to than my D40. This was pronounced because I was trying to shoot from a moving Cable Car mostly before dawn with a very very slow lens. Suffice to say I'm very happy with my purchase and a big thumbs up to Abe's of Maine for delivering as promised with a rock bottom price.

New Pictures!!

Blowing the Horn, originally uploaded by lacadaz.

After the longest absence in well over a year I began posting new pictures to flickr yesterday. It was tough to resist the pull of one of my favorite neighborhood events so Saturday I marched down to Sutter and Kearney and set up shop for a night of picture taking. A number of things contributed to this being a better picture year. First a year with the camera made me a better photographer. Second I learned my lesson and did not try to shoot a parade at night without a flash. Third the worst storm of the year did not happen on Saturday night resulting in me being unable to stop shivering for 48 hours as a result. After blowing $30 on a bleacher seat and then having the parade route being pretty empty because of that storm last year I decided to take my chances on the street. I got to the corner at 5 and ended up with a position about as good as I had last year so that was $30 saved.

The one issue I am having is that as I haven't been working on post production in so long I'm having to re-remember my favorite techniques in Photoshop. That is why the five pictures I've done so far all have a bit of a different look to them.

The next big event is the Valentine's Day Pillow Fight on Saturday. I'm crossing my fingers that I get my tax check today or tomorrow so I can order my D90 in time to use it this weekend. Although I wont feel too disappointed if it doesn't make it as the pillow fight is actually the one event that can be brutal on my camera. I would hate to do damage on the first day out in the field.

88 Lines About 44 Things

Yet another Facebook list has crossed my inbox. Since I've been trying to post more and I don't have anything ready to go tonight I'm going to fill out this questionnaire. 

1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes but only crumbled on a steak or in salad dressing.  

2. Have you ever been drunk? Is this a trick question? Why is it phrased in the past tense?

3. Do you own a gun? No. What the hell would I do with a gun?

4. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite? Red. 

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? I don't remember. I haven't had a doctor's appointment in maybe 15 years.  

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I like them. Hebrew National, with mustard and cheese and a little bit of relish, perfection. 

7. Favorite Christmas movie? A tie between "The Ref" and "Shop Around the Corner".   

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee.

9. Can you do push ups? I don't know about he plural part of this one.  

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? The only piece I wear a Tissot Automatic.  

11. Favorite hobby? Photography.  

12. Do you have A.D.D.? How the hell would I know?

13. What's your favorite shoe? Sperry Top Siders. 

14. Middle name? Anthony 

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
- I'm so glad I ate Dinner before I freaked out and through my computer out the window. 
- I like this movie (Deconstructing Harry) though the dialogue is really forced. 
- I'm glad it started raining again. 

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water, Coffee, V8 

17. Current worry? About a meeting I don't want to go to at the end of the month. 

18. Current hate right now? The way Adobe Bridge copies and pastes metadata. (See throwing computer out the window in #15)  

20. How did you ring in the New Year? I don't remember. I probably slept through it. 

21. Where would you like to go? New York. 

22. Name three people who will complete this? I'm not sold on the chain letter aspect.

23. Do you own slippers? No.  

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? Grey.     

25. Do you like sleeping on Satin sheets? No. I like to stay put when I sleep. 

26. Can you whistle? Yes. 

27. Favorite color? Grey

28. Would you be a pirate? I'm gonna reserve my 5th amendment rights and skip this one.    

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I make them up. They are horrible and not to be repeated.  

30. Favorite Girl's Name? Jane 

31. Favorite boy's name? Richard 

32. What's in your pocket right now? Nothing 

33. Last thing that made you laugh? A cartoon from this week's New Yorker. (page 91 '09 Anniversary Issue if you want to follow along at home)

34. Best bed sheets as a child? I don't think I had printed sheets. The white ones. No, the off white ones. I don't know. 

35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child? I was playing on a hill covered with brush and slipped on a board that was under said brush. Unfortunately I sat right down on the nail that was sticking out of the board. Ouch. 

36. Do you love where you live? I do. I love my building and I love the location downtown. Someday maybe I'll move somewhere where I can fit a third person in the room but for now I'm doing great. 

38. Who is your loudest friend? Mike. 

39. How many dogs do you have? None.  

40. Does someone have a crush on you? I really don't think so. 

41. What is your favorite book? "Love in the Ruins" by Walker Percy. 

42. What is your favorite candy? Violet Crumble.

43. Favorite Sports Team? The SF Giants. 

44. What song do you want them to play at your funeral? "Hope" by Bauhaus. "Your mornings will be brighter, Break the line, Tear up rules, Make the most of a million times no"

25 (not so) Random Things About Me

So these lists are making their way around my Facebook circle and I’m in a take stock of myself kind of mood anyway so I decided not to completely blow this one off. But I thought I’m going to do it right. I’m really going to make it 25 random things about me. Not 25 semi-interesting, semi-connected minor factoids. No I was going to make a truly random snapshot of my personality. So I spent a couple of days doing free associative writing. All the events and emotions of my life I could think of were there on a long numbered list. All my plans, dreams, schemes, pains, joys, fears, lusts, triumphs, secrets, shames and embarrassments were all there. Then I plugged the whole thing into a number generator to get a truly random look at me. 

The results were astounding. A quick view snapshot into my very psyche. Publication of such a document could be such a release. A release, for example, from my job. From the small circle of friends I’ve managed to hobble together. From all family ties. Not to mention probable inditement from local, state, and federal officials. Possibly even a war crime tribunal. 

So I did what I had to do. I selected all, and hit delete. And then did a secure empty on my computer’s trash. And then over wrote all the blank space on the drive. Then formated the drive with 7 passes of write zero. Then removed the drive, dismantled it, scratched the beginning of the Gettysburg Address on the platter, took all the pieces on the Larksburg Ferry and dropped them into separate areas of the bay. Then I went home and wrote this collection of semi-interesting, semi-connected minor factoids about me. 

1. I had my 1st pacemaker put in the week of my 4th birthday and mylast one taken out just before I started High School
2. I may not have a phobia about doctors but I sure do avoid them. It's been 15 years since my last office visit. 
3. I mocked my friends for playing MTG when it came out and kicked myself hard about missing all the classic cards when I got into it 10 years in. 
4. I have a pretty dim view of sales and salesmen. Guess what I've done for a living for the past 10 years.
5. The only thing I miss about moving out of the burbs is the Stanford Theater. 
6. I haven't driven a car in over 3 years. 
7. For the first time since I was 18 I have no points on my driving record. 
8. I live a couple of blocks from Union Square. For the year I ran our store downtown I hardly ever ventured outside a 10 block radius. 
9. I used to live on a sailboat that was too small to stand up in.  
10. After that experience my present 250 square foot apartment isn't a space issue. But you can believe it has high ceilings. 
11. I spent the first 20 years of adulthood mucking up my health, finances, romantic and work lives. 
12. So far my 40's are all about repairing the damage of my 20's & 30's. 
13. This is the happiest stage of my life so far. 
14. My wedding day remains the happiest day of my life. 
15. All I wanted to do after high school was get a job and apartment by myself in The City and embrace some kind of artistic expression.
16. The above plan did work out. It just took 20 years longer than I expected.  
17. While I complain about it as much as any other San Franciscian, I secretly love Muni. 
18. I have a 500 movie collection on my computer attached to my TV. 
19. I haven't had cable in over 3 years. 
20. I keep my movie and music collections sorted by year. It's the only way I can find anything. 
21. I went to cancel my land line and they told me it would reset my Internet and I would be unplugged for 3 days. I said forget it, I'll keep the damn phone. 
22. Bankruptcy may have been the smartest thing I've ever done. 
23. I've always been a big history buff. Every school bond issue that comes up makes me remember the American History teacher that gave me an F. My vengance is my no vote.     
24. I've been known to get up for popcorn when the car chase starts. Really I've seen this part before. Get on with the plot and the character development already.
25. My Christmas tree goes on top of the fridge. It's the only place it fits. 

I am forgoing the chain letter aspect of this exercise as I don’t want to inflict the above on anyone else. Even though I remain convinced that this recession came about because someone refused to forward a list of happy thoughts to ten of their friends last spring. 

Happy Birthday

So this post is a special call out to that one reader we can all rely on. Mom. Happy Birthday Mom!

It is a property of our new age that I don't get the "you never call" or "you never write" guilt. I only get the "you never blog" guilt. Don't worry Mom I give myself enough of that already. Yesterday I had a great day off. I planned out a budget for the whole year. I finalized my automatic savings plans. I finally figured out my pension benifit at work. I configured a new home page. I took a long walk and bought my Fast Pass. I had a nice write on a friendly bench overlooking the Bay Bridge on a perfect day. I didn't spend a dime over the Fast Pass cost. I stayed to my diet and lost the weight that spiked up three days ago. By any account that's a good day. But there I was at the end of the day feeling like a failure because I hadn't blogged yet again and no longer have the concentration to do it at night. I did not spend too much time beating myself up. That is another habit I'm trying to get into. Stop listening to me when I start to nag or berate myself. For far too long I've been the one to beat myself into wounded puppydogdom. You know puppydogdom probably isn't a word but it should be.

So in an attempt to get me to shut up I'm going to try to be more dilligent about posting. It is likely that the quality will drop and you the reader will have to suffer. For one thing it will mean more posts written from the 3 bus on my phone with it's limited spellcheck abilities. That combined with my non-existant internal spellcheck abilities may make it less than perfect. But I'll fell better and isn't that what's important anyway? That I feel better? Anyway happy birthday mom

No, Really, I Wrote This

So I've been doing a little research about this strange feeling that keeps popping up in me. Apparently it's an uncommon but not unheard of affliction that's called happiness. It's very odd and keeps throwing me off balance. Well it's supposed to be a new year with some new experiences so I think I'm just going to roll with it. 

What it is coming down to is that the life changing habits that I tried to attach to my 40th birthday are working and making a world of difference. The impending erasure of my debt has me determined not to fall into it's trap ever again. I've spent much of the first couple of weeks of the year setting up different automations to pay my bills and save as much as I can. I have never felt as in control and frankly excited about my financial future as I do right now. (Though I wouldn't complain if my 401K would stop shrinking on a daily basis.)

The other big change was to my diet and tomorrow is a full two months of tracking everything I eat on MyNetDiary. This is also paying off as I've just started using a notch twice removed from the worn one on my belt. I'm down about 15 pounds from my maximum weight and am full of energy. While I'm not thin by any means, I've begun to remember myself as the thin person I used to be. This is big for me. A positive self image is another of those mind-states that I'm just not used to. I'm already thinking about some new clothes for summer. Actually the one piece of clothing I bought this winter was a sweater that bought based on my torso length not width for the first time in a very long time. That was $20 well spent dollars.

I'm on a writing roll too, even if this blog doesn't have much to show for it. I only missed one day in December in my journal and that has meant much to my sense of well-being. I've been trying to keep a dream journal too but that has been hit and miss. Too often I want to just turn over and get back to sleep as quickly as possible.  When I do do it though the payoff is immediate as it usually helps me remember the next dream. 

Along with skipping out on this blog I haven't taken very many pictures in the last two months. My last big day with my camera was my birthday and I have hardly given those pictures a second thought. I am not done with photography by any means but it does seem to have taken a break from the forefront of my consciousness. This is not unusual for me when I'm in what I've taken to calling "process mode". That is a state of mind when I take off my creative hat and put on my technical learning cap. This time it is not so much about a particular piece of hardware or software but more about absorbing as much advise as I can take from the internet regarding diet and personal finance. Being that tis is the season for diet and personal finance blogging there has been no shortage of advise most of which can be summed up as stop eating and buying stupid shit. Writing down what you eat and buy seems to be the preferred method of showing you how much stupid shit you eat and buy. The rest is details. It's been good to read the same things over and over though It's helped cement some habits. I would like to take this time to put a shout out to the site that has done for money what MyNetDiary did for food for me, and that sight is Mint. It is hands down the easiest way of keeping track of my money and budget I have ever seen. Of course both sights have great corresponding iPhone applications to go with them. 

Well that should bring you up to date with where I'm at right now. I'm trying to turn myself into a lean, friendly, money saving machine. 

Fresh Start

So my hearing has come and gone and it was easy as pie. Actually pie sounds pretty good right now. I'm back home having just finished a celebratory rib eye smothered in mushrooms. I'm on my second glass of wine and frankly I'm feeling about as good as I've felt in years. Happy New Year everybody.

Nervous

So tomorrow is my Bankruptcy hearing with the trustee. Everything I've heard or read tells me that I have nothing to worry about still I'm a bit on edge. I hope I'm going to be able to sleep tonight. Less than 12 hours and the biggest monkey of my whole life gets his walking papers. 2009 is shaping up to be what I was thinking about when I named my old blog "Braver, newer world". Maybe it's time to refresh this one again for the new year. I remain determined to make my forty-first year a time of renewal for me. Tomorrow is a big step in that direction. Wish me luck.

Ah, New Year's week. I wasn't sure how I felt about the mid-week aspect of this year's new year's but I've made my piece with it A couple of days to review, a couple of days to celebrate, and a couple of days to try out the new habits.

My diet took some knocks Christmas week but that was to be expected. This morning on the scale I was a pound more than where I was last Monday morning. That's not enough to lose any sleep over. The thing was when I reviewed what I was eating none of it was really all that bad. A slice of cake and a scoop of ice cream maybe but mostly just an increase in the volume of meat and cheese. I'm still going to show a net loss for the holiday's and I'm happy with that. I continue to make the vast majority of my meals so I'm automatically eating better and saving some cash. Good habits to walk into 2009 with.

I've only missed writing in my journal once in the past month and a half so that's another habit in place for the new year. I'm tracking my expenses religiously so between that and my hearing on Wednesday I'm feeling as positive about finances as any point in my life.

The two things I need to get back into are this blog and my photography. I have taken only a couple of pictures in December and published nothing on flickr in over a month. That is something I'll try to work on this week. I want some natural feeling habits in place by this time next week.

Not Really Hiding Out

I haven't been very expressive on the web lately. I haven't taken any pictures since my birthday and I haven't even looked at those pictures all month. I'm back in process mode, trying to build up some good habits for the new year. I've been expermenting with different to-do lists and jornalling tools. The most imporant thing for each piece of software is how well the iPhone version works. I'm trying to lug my computer around as little as possible. The strain on my neck is making that weakness in my right arm worse.

Not that I want to be complaining about how I feel. For the most part I feel great. I've been sticking to my diet very well. I hit a plateau for about two weeks but broke past when I followed some advise to mix up my diet a little more. So on Friday instead of having lean hot Italian turkey sasuage for dinner like usual I picked up a nice big $13 Rib eye from Cala (marked down to $5). Sure enough the next morning I had dropped two pounds. I considered picking up a jar of lard to really turbo-charge my weight loss buy figured that might be pushing my luck.

I've been writing in my journal every day when I wake up and I even started a dream journal this morning. I've been playing around with different financal tracking software just trying to get the habits built by the time 2009 starts. Right now I'm leading towards Mint.com. It seems to play the best with my bank account. I continue to track everything I eat and keep a running calorie total. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm around and I'm doing well. Better than well even.

Two Days in a Little Apartment

Well that's pretty much my weekend. I was a total homebody these last two days. Yesterday I did venture out to Trader Joe's for groceries but today the farthest I got from my apartment was the mailroom. That is just fine with me. I spent no money (which is good cause I'm pretty broke until payday). I tackled a couple of projects I've been putting off forever including organizing my desk area, reworking my Remember the Milk account and filing the overflowing inbox and the year's worth of papers it contained. I'm in task not creative mode right now. I'm looking forward to working on my photography in this more organized environment. In the meantime I'm taking solace in the fact that I'm writing every day and blogging on a much more regular basis. I'm glad I started working on my health and finances before my birthday. I'm only 9 days in but so far my 40's are a real treat.

Food

So I wouldn't say that food and diet have been consuming my every thought, but I do believe this is the most attention I've given to what I've put in my body in my whole life. I have only really lost weight in one other period of my. That was when I was doing the Atkin's no carb thing. Even then I wasn't paying all that much attention. Basically I read the first two chapters of his book and then just stopped eating sugar and carbs. It didn't really matter what else I was eating as long as it wasn't sugar or carbs. I lost 30 pounds on a coffee, bacon and cheese diet. I have a funny feeling that wasn't exactly what I was supposed to do. Of course eventually even bacon and cheese got boring (it did take a while though), I had some sugar, my appetite came roaring back and that was that.

This time I'm paying more attention to all-around nutrition. The main thing I'm doing though is keeping a record of I eat and counting the calories. That has been the silver bullet for me. It makes me consider what I'm eating and actually answer the question do I really want that? It's been okay that the answer was yes to dinner at Cheesecake Factory on my birthday, or twice this week with a snickers bar at work from a holiday care kit from an executive. I write it down and I incorporate it into my totals.

The funny thing is that the last thing I've felt these last three weeks is deprived. In fact sometimes it's a struggle to eat enough. Since I made these changes I haven't skipped a meal. That's a new thing for me too. I've kept myself well fed all the time with foods that make me feel great. I know this is probably old hat to some of you but it's new ground for me. The only thing I've noticed is that while I eat out a lot less often, I'm going to the market all the time. In fact right now I'm on my way back from TraderJoe's.

One of those Days

Yesterday was one of those days that things get done that make all the rest of your days easier. The last document I needed for my bankruptcy had been proving very elusive for the last three weeks. In order to stave off a couple of lawsuits I had gone ahead and filed anyway. I was counting on getting something from payroll that was now way overdue. The court needed this thing by Friday and I was starthing to get frantic. By Monday night I was a real basket case. So first thing yesterday morning I began banging on payroll. Sure enough by noon I had a hard copy in my hands and at my lawyer's office by 3. A huge weight was lifted. Another weight goes away on New Year's Eve when my hearing is.

So by the end of the year I should be 6 weeks into my new diet, out of debt and starting toward a positive balance sheet for the first time in my adult life. Hey, maybe my 40's aren't going to be so bad. I might be able to get used to feeling good.

Birthday Report

Not wanting to blow the two weeks I've got invested in my new diet and wanting to get out of the city and see something a little more on the natural side I tapped Karen for birthday duties yesterday. It was a very good and mellow birthday. I took the train down to Redwood City and we ended up driving down south of Carmel. It was a little hazy but still a beautiful fall day. We had lunch at the Carmel Whole Foods Salad Bar. While that doesn't make for a very exciting blog post I can report that it was exactly what I needed at the moment. We drove down to the big bridge and took some pictures. Then we went back to Carmel and took a walk along the seaside. I have never seen such big waves. These walls of water kept crashing in. No one was in the water. Surfers were just standing there with us watching the waves come crashing in. In the afternoon we stopped by the Carmel Mission. Somehow I had never visited this Mission. The gardens and chapel were beautiful, ancient and a little sad. I haven't had a chance to go through the pictures yet but I'm excited about seeing them on my computer. Look for some new stuff on Flickr in the coming days.

We headed back north as the sun set and got to Palo Alto an hour before the last Bogart double feature started. We had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory but kept it under control by sharing the Thai Lettuce Wraps and Chicken Pot Stickers. Then it was back to what used to be my favorate haunt before moving to the city, the Stanford Theater, for a double feature of To Have and to Have Not and The Maltese Falcon. I was a little stunned to realize that Karen had never seen either movie. We both did a good job staying awake through the last one when the long day seemed to catch up with us. A trip to the snack bar at intermission helped. Karen drove me home and I hit the sack right about the time my birthday was coming to an end.

Throughout the day my phone kept shaking with best wishes via voicemail, text, facebook and other modern communications. I was happy to recieve every one and they contributed to a general feeling of well being that was with me the whole day.

The End

So I'm down to the last couple of hours of my thirties. I woke up thinking about how at least a condemned prisoner can cling to that possible pardon call. No such luck for birthdays. But the death imagery stayed with me when I realized that that was the only way to avoid turning 40. All of a sudden a birthday didn't feel so bad.

A Moderate Thanksgiving

Well that was the most moderate Thanksgiving of my life. If anything I under ate. I worked for a few hours, talked to most of the people I'm close to on the phone watched some old West Wing and went to bed early. To tell you the truth I'm pretty happy about it too. The holiday didn't interfere with any of the new routines I've set up for myself and here it is the day after and I'm feeling good. The phone kept me from feeling lonely and I'm glad I didn't go out like I usually do. Eating alone in a restaurant on a holiday just brings being alone into sharper focus. Anyway it's over and with no lasting effects spilling into today. For that I'm truly thankful.

Thanksgiving

I had a cranky day yesterday. I kept getting into fights with machines. The new blogging application I bought had an undocumented bug that took me two hours to figure out, both my computers froze up on me, and I couldn't get my daily inventory to balance with the work computer and either my payroll department or my lawyer's fax machine doesn't work. I have no access to either of these machines but they are still working hard to screw me over.

By the time I was finished with dinner (my 33rd decent meal in a row) I was looking for something more than baby carrots to drown my sorrows in. I was thinking more along the lines of a chocolate cake. Mind you I didn't say slice of. Anyway there is nothing remotely like that in my apartment and I was in no mood to go out. So I put the rest of the almost stale Raymond's Sourdough round in the microwave for 20 seconds and ate the remaining crust with Smart Balance and salt. Not the best thing for me but better than the alternative. Then I started surfing the news sites. That did not make me feel any better. The news from India made me feel foolish for all the petty things that I let get to me. I thought of the health and safety of all the people I'm close to and care about. So on this day of thanksgiving I'm thankful for all you mean to me and do for me. And in this economy I'm going to say thanks for having a job that forces me to work on Thanksgiving Day. That's better than having no job any day. So...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!